He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
