exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
