Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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