Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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