nut hugger
too bad you live with your parents still
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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