But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
