I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Randomize
