New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
