IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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