I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
