i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
