so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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