what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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