I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
