That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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