in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
