How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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