never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
