Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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