Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
