He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont even know how to be here
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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