Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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