There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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