but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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