erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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