party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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