did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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