I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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