South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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