I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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