I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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