That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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