The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
