either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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