I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
