oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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