And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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