I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you never un-have a 4some
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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