i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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