well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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