so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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