Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
