Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
