the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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