His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
