halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
