I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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