He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
