I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
