There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
