you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize