I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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