This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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