Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
