I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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