Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize