You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
