Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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