The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The adults are the big ones right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize