Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
