So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
